Note to Self

Tie your hair back when you are wearing lipstick! Its too damn windy!!

Story 01

On any given day I have an idea for a story or two crawling through my brain, flashing bits and pieces of it's plot onto my eyelids. I try to write them all down, to expand and make them into an actual full length story, but you know, I lose the note or I misfile it, blah blah blah. So I'm going to just write them on this old blog, and file them correctly! Ha! Try to escape me now!

They aren't all winners, so fair warning.

So here's the first of many story ideas I have:

Story 01

She unpacked the last box and slowly looked around. The place was starting to come together, even now. She thought it looked like her, her things quietly perched on shelves, adding soft colors to the otherwise white room. She didn't know what to do with herself now, so she paced the room aimlessly, letting her eyes wander.

The late afternoon sunlight bounced off the corner of a picture frame on her mantel. Too bad that fireplace didn't work, she thought. She brought her face up close to the photo inside the frame. It was taken at her sister's birthday party, outside on their old patio. Well, it was more of a courtyard, but that's not important.

As she looked at it, she noticed the background had an extra something in it. Why hadn't she seen that before? It looked like a kid, maybe? But whose kid was that? No, the head was shaped weird, it couldn't be...

She got her computer out and started researching the house:

-Old restored victorian,
-First family owned it in the '20s,
-Windows were restored using the original glass,
-Youngest daughter died in house due to illness...

What?

Soooo that is a kid then?

Not so scary movie review of a scary movie (for Chloester)

So I told my bestie that I wanted to watch more scary movies, to get pumped up for Halloween of course, and that I would describe them to her in a non-scary way.

**THIS IS IN NO WAY A PROFESSIONAL REVIEW, ALL THOUGHTS ARE MINE, AND MIGHT OFFEND SOMEONE IF THEY DON'T TAKE IT AS HUMOROUS. Please don't be that person that says "stop cursing so much" or "using 'dumb bitch' is offensive" because its SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY AND IN NO WAY TAKEN SERIOUSLY. So if you can't handle that kind of humor then don't read this post. If you still leave a negative comment after all this, well then you are literally a dumb bitch and should probably learn how to read better.

Here's THE FOURTH KIND (2009)
IMDb
Fast Facts:
Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi 
Writers: Olatunde Osunsanmi and Terry Robbins
MPAA: PG13
My rating: R, its kinda disturbing, but I guess the lack of gore makes it PG13
Budget vs Gross: $10 mill // $25 mill, not bad!
Universal Pictures
Slugline (or what I can find of one):

There are four kinds of alien encounters, 
the fourth kind is abduction

Alright, so it's based in this town called Nome, Alaska. Kind of a weird name, right? There are a bunch of missing peeps, and weird events, blah, blah, blah. The main character is a doctor of psychology, and her husband was murdered and/or committed suicide (it's not very clear, but he probs blew his brains out because she was a crazy nut job and couldn't take it anymore). Also she only has one hair style, but that's irrelevant. Just kind of bugged me. By the way, she has two kids, and one is blind from the stress of her dad dying (total faker!). 

Anyway, she is doing all these therapy sessions and everyone keeps seeing an owl outside their bedroom window. All of her patients have insomnia, and anxiety and other stuff that crazy people have. They all say the same thing, and they all say it was weird, obviously, because who the fuck sees an owl outside every night just watching them sleep? Come on, thats obviously an alien. The film keeps going back and forth between a double screen of "actual footage", to make it all the more "real". That was a cool film technique I thought, but didn't really add too much to the story. 

So the doc is like, all these owl sightings are super weird, maybe I should put one of my patients under hypnosis to get more info. So she hypnotizes this guy named Bill or Tom, I can't remember, and he goes crazy and losses his marbles. He kicks over shit and runs around her office screaming, and then leaves because the owl got into his house or something. Then Bill/Tom kills his family because the owl is too scary for him (wimp). And the doc is like WTF is going on? And starts crying. She cries a lot in the movie, its super annoying.

At this point I was thinking, hmmm, maybe don't put anyone under hypnosis ever again and we can go on with our lives. But of course this dumb bitch decides to continue her work because "her husband would of wanted her to". But he's dead, so he would never know...

Alright so, another patient of hers comes into the doc's office and asks her to hypnotize him. She's super hesitant because the police chief warned her that if she did that again she would be arrested. But she's like f*** the police I'm gonna do it anyway! So she puts this guy under, and he says the same thing about the owl that Bill/Tom said, which is now very clearly an alien that can shape shift into a cute little owl. It like possesses his brain and makes him do the Macarena every night, and he's pissed about it. 

The doc tells him to not tell the po-po, and the patient leaves. Then the dumb receptionist gives the doc a tape recorder and is all, there is another voice on here that isn't yours doc! And shuffles out of the room crying (she's a lil overweight and a huge scardy cat). 

So the doc listens to the tape and there's a voice on there in some ancient language, so she gets a professional to decipher it, and he's like, I can only make out some words, and it's basically saying "I am God" and will "take over the world and destroy you" or some crap like that. Its all fuzzy and hard to hear. Also it's mainly vowel sounds, so it kind of sounds like a Creed song. 

So now the doc is like really freaked out because the recording is of her being abducted, and she is like WTF when was I abducted? Honestly, at this point, I'm like if you can't remember anything, maybe that's a good thing? 

Then the second patient who got hypnotized from her calls and is like I'm a huge frady-cat and can't get out of bed because of that damn owl. So she goes over to his house and hypnotizes him again (you would think she would of learned that by now this is a bad idea, but that dumb hairdo is probs making her forget shit). So she puts him under and he levitates and gets paralyzed or something, and the police chief is like alright lady you are under house arrest. No more funny psycho mumbo-jumbo! She's like alright fine. 

Then that night her blind daughter is abducted and the doc freaks out, like is crying waaaay too much and shit. Her son is taken away because lets face it, this doc is crazy. And now she decides to "go under hypnosis" to contact the aliens and beg for her daughter back (who is still blind, and they probs could fix that so I would be okay with them taking her). Obviously she doesn't get her daughter back because even they recognize a crazy mom when they see one. 

Then she goes crazy and lives in a wheel chair for the rest of her life. Her son never talks to her either, so that probs was a good choice on his part. How he turned out normal after living with her is mind-blowing. 

The End!

Thursday Farmers & Beers

I like that I can pull out some sweatshirts now for fall, but it's not too cold yet. We always sit outside at our usual restaurant on Thursday nights for some huge beers (40oz for $4? That's it?!) and some delish Mexican food. The problem with great weather? Everybody else also wants to sit out on the patio. So with this fall chill coming on I'm hoping it will drive some people away from our regular spot. We like to also people watch all the Farmers Market peeps. Kids on leashes! Large tourists in khaki spandex! Weird teenagers in weirder outfits! I'm not selling it very well--it's highly entertaining! Ill try to post some of my faves on IG (@hanmyvan), if I can get away with taking sneaky pics. Have a good night boos! 

PS this sweatshirt is from Forever21 and is perfect for these transitional days. Lightweight but effective, and covered in sequins! All necessary requirements in my book. 

Braids and NYFW

This has been my mantra for the past two weeks. (So dramatic!)

I always wanted to be a fashion designer, but you know, practicality took over and I chickened out. So lame. But sometimes I think about the "what if", "what if" I had followed through with it? Where would I be now? 

Probably New York Fashion Week!

If you are looking for some great insider photos from this year's New York Fashion Week, check these links out: (I read these blogs regularly too) 

Barefoot Blonde

Gal Meets Glam

Cara Loren

Hey Natalie Jean (not too much NYFW, but a must read)

A Little Dash of Darling

The Man Repeller

Could I have that?

Have fun!